again

last year,datin gave us a essay titled " at first i did not recognized him...". it was last year but only now i have the time to update here lol. my best friend gifted me her essay today. she wrote it specially for me. tq. really appreciate it because more or less it evolves around my true life story. i love the essay dude !!


at first i didn't recognize him but suddenly,something stuck my heart telling me that he looked familiar. FAMILIAR...i looked into his eyes. eyes which portrayed a depressed and sad feeling. he looked very pale. he wasn't looking at me. he was busy observing the fountain in the garden. making his thoughts to wander.my eyes kept fixed towards him. he stood there,thinking deeply about something that i couldn't guess. something that is pretty painful. 

"i know him....he is...,"before i could continue any longer,akash called out my name.

"thasya, arnold is looking for you,"he said with a wide smile.

it distracted my conscience towards that pale-eyed fellow.i came to my sense at once. i nodded my head. ugh~ as fast as lightning,i walked out with akash to the living room.

"where have you been,tasya ? i was looking for you high and low," arnold muttered

i did not answer but just gave him a cunning smile. i know how it will be to see him in such situations. haha. arnold is one of my best friends since i was thirteen. he is a happy-go-lucky. he is well-known for his shitty craps.

arnold was having a reunion party for all is friends in country high school. many old colleens gathered in the living room. a great day. it was a great fun to meet my old friends under one roof. i could see mimie,tinna,stacy,adam,fatin,dalvin,mike,kandan,arnish,qistina,hashvin and many others ( the characters are fake ).i really missed them a lot. this was a great opportunity to meet and talk to them after eight yrs being separated from them. many things are not intact now. everyone were busy talking to each other about their life and career.

everyone has their own life now. their own way.some were even married. i giggled when i saw hashvin walking in with her husband and her four kids. not one or two but four ! i still remember,she was the one very adamant not to get married but now something opposite had happened. i was having so much of fun talking with my old buddies. as usual,i'm a chatter-box when it comes to talking hehe.chatters and laughs fill the living room.

all of sudden,my mind began to think about the guy near the fountain. who the fuck is he ?! i was trying to flash back who he was. he looked so familiar to me. oh GOD , make me think. little by little,i was regaining my memory. that guy !! holy crap~

old memories sipped into my mind. is he the one whom i had loved so much once upon a time? is he the one that stole my heart for the first time? is he the one who had hurt me so much? is he the one that made me cry life long?is he the sweetest and painful person i ever knew? is he the one whom taught me what is it means by true love? is he? is he ?

i began to feel at any moment my head could burst. my heart began to cry. it aches !! tears flow out from my eyes. i began to cry. my cheeks are getting wet but i dont care. i cried and cried. i could not stop crying. how could i?? 

i ran as fast as i could to where i met him a few minutes ago. my heart pumps faster. i've seen another life of mine. my feet were carrying me to the garden. for me at that moment,he is the world to me. the world indeed is small.

as i was running,i told myself " i'm happy to see you,irsyad. i had loved you once but fate overcomes everything. i cant live without you. due to different races,our parents don't agree. eventhough we know love doesn't know religion but the society don't understands it. we have to let go of our love....my love !! its not that easy to forget you. even when i was in Melbourne,completing my course and even when i am engaged to akash. i'm glad that eventually i met you here...whatever its too late ."

i was crying until i reached the garden. my eyes started to search for him. i saw him. irsyad !!!! i ran to him. he looked up to me. immediately, he stood up. he held my hand. he was taken aback to see me.

"tasya ?"he asked.
i nodded. "yes,its me, irsyad."

a smile appeared on his face. he was still the same as last time,when i first saw him when i was thirteen years old. he's tall,handsome and always had the cool look. but now the cool look had been substituted by a wary look. 

"even though i lost you for eight years,i still love you, tasya. my life is so damn empty without you."he told.

at once i hugged him. my hands couldn't let go of him.after realizing,there were nothing between me and him now,i let go of him. i told him that i was engaged to akash. it was like inserting a sharp needle to his heart slowly. for the first time,i saw irsyad crying. he was trying to control his emotion. unfortunately he cant. i couldn't bear seeing the situation. it was very painful indeed. irsyad confessed to me that it was very hard to forget me. he searched for me everywhere but couldn't find me. he searched high and low. and after a long time,arnold called him and and invited him to the reunion. with confidence seeing me again,he came to the reunion. 


there was a silence between us. the night was so romantic. stars twinkled brightly above us. i realized if i still stand there,i would die. quickly,i waved goodbye and walked out from the garden. i miss him so much <3. he held my hand and kissed me at the cheeks. i wiped my tears. i ran out. i could see from far,he was wiping his tears too. i had missed him in my life and now i'm missing him so much.


i went into the living room. i sat beside akash. my heart couldnt stop  thinking of him. at first i did not recognize him but eventually he happened to be my first love. my beautiful past. i closed my yes....


love doesn't know religion,status nor age. it only need two divine hearts. i will never forget him and i hope he wont either. life has to go on. i still remember irsyad always emphasize "people changes". i hope he don't ! i want him to be just as he is. wherever he is,i will pray for him. an eternal prayer for u ......


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thank you very much for the essay <3