memories bygone

im writing this with such a hurted heart. hmm. things aren't going well. i already had so much of problems here and now with my jajabin. its not how long u know a person but how well you them. i truly understand him but he failed to understand me. i think i had made the biggest mistake in my life which is falling for him. this hurts more than my previous one. i truly loved him but then i dont want to be the mean girl by pulling him away from his mom. i will never do that. getting a son like him is truly a blessing. for all these days,he had been doing so many things for his family . nothing wrong for him sacrificing his love as well. im fine with it. its nothing wrong if i get disappointed but i wont allow his mom to be disappointed. the very first day i was with him,i had always think of his mom as mine. i had never neglected his parents by any means.

my parents had given me so much of free space since small. whatever i want,they will get it for me no matter how hard is it. i had lived like that. my family is a big family. daddy and mummy had so much trust in me. they let me be in my own way. they had never go against my will. one day,i did told them about jajabin. i explained to them every single thing. he came from a good family so my parents agreed. but then,daddy and mummy  told me to stay steady till we complete our studies. i respect their wish as well. studies are vital . my parents agreed to this cos they trust me . they know that i will never choose a wrong guy. they TRUSTED my choice. but now i failed. i crushed their trust on me. i chose the wrong guy. how am i suppose to face daddy and mummy ???? i easily given everything to him when im actually not that type of girl. *sorry daddy,sorry mummy......i am not suitable for him*

jajabin is a nice guy. he made my days to shine. he did so much for me. he trusted me. the only thing i could do is fulfil his wishes. so thats what i am doing now. at the same time,i need to study. being and scoring in UTP aren't that easy. the pointer here are quite high and competitive. im making my way for slumberger. :) so i think i really need to move on with my life. i need to achieve my goal as well. its a long way to go. so why worry ?? if this is a really true love,he will come back to me. if it is !

thanks for everything jajabin. i am not angry with u. sometimes fate overcomes everything. for now,i put all my burden on God. let Him think about it. i believe in Him. everything happens for a reason. and please tell amma that i am so sorry for pulling you away from her. i can understand how she feels. i feel bad for her. :( i can never hate her because she is also like my amma even if we had never met. take care of her,jajabin ! and also Abi and Madhu.

i will be waiting for you. no one else can replace you in my life. let us concentrate on our studies.  i love you.
goodbye <3